Monday, July 26, 2010

Everyone is Expendable!

I cannot wait to go see Sylvester Stallone's new action flick The Expendables when it opens this August!
There has never EVER been this many box office stars in one movie.
Stallone enlists the biggest and baddest action stars including The Transporter Jason Statham, The Terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mr. Die Hard himself Bruce Willis, The Wrestler Mickey Rourke, Ivan Drago Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Jet Li, Stone Cold Steve Austin, MMA Superstar Randy Couture, David Zayas from the hit TV show DEXTER and of course THAT guy Eric Roberts who you can probably catch starring in any late night Cinemax flick!

In anticipation of Sly's return to the Silver Screen I've compiled my list of non Rocky-Rambo Stallone movies that every action fan must see!

10. Lock Up - More like Rocky in Jail! This movie put Stallone in Rahway prison against a ruthless warden played by Donald Sutherland. A sober Tom Sizemore plays Stallone's pal in jail as Stallone fights for his life in order to make it out of jail alive! Watch as Sly shows off his football skills in a prison yard mud bowl pitting the good inmates against the hand picked baddies by the evil warden!

9. Daylight - Imagine traveling through the Lincoln Tunnel and having it collapse! That's what Stallone faces in this disaster flick co starring Viggo Mortensen and Danielle Harris of Halloween fame! Judging Amy's Amy Brenneman and Stallone's real life son Sage round out the cast as Stallone races against time to rescue the people trapped inside the tunnel. They must reach DAYLIGHT before it's too late!

8 - Judge Dredd - I am the Law! Stallone flexes his Sci-Fi muscles playing the futuristic Lawman who is judge, jury and executioner! Any movie that has the legendary Max Von Sydow in it is a must see! Armand Assante is the villain and Rob Schneider plays the comic relief sidekick. Oh and a smoking hot Diane Lane plays the hottie! It's worth it just to watch Sly ride those ridiculous sky motorcycles or whatever those things were called!

7 - Get Carter - Underrated Sly flick from 2000 that has Stallone playing a mob enforcer who has to return home to avenge his brother's untimely death. Strong cast featuring Rachel Leigh Cook, Michael Caine, Mickey Rourke and his dog, Alan Cumming and John C. McGinley.

6 - Assassins - Hollywood's own triple threat Stallone, Antonio Banderas and Juliann Moore star in this action packed thriller written by the Wachowski Brothers pre-Matrix. Sly just wants out of the killing game and of course has to do one last hit before he can. Banderas wants the top spot and must take out Sly to clam it while Moore is the pawn in the middle. Great cat and mouse scenes such as the taxi cab scene where the hitmen meet and face off for the first time!

5 - Tango and Cash - Sly plays Ray Tango to Kurt Russell's Gabriel Cash. Rival cops who are framed and sent to prison for a crime they didn't commit. Teri Hatcher plays Sly's sis while Jack Palance is the evil villain determined to take Tango and Cash down. Features Sly dissing his own movie franchise when he proclaims that "Rambo IS a pussy!" after fellow officers quip, "Who does he think he is, Rambo?" Great chemistry between Stallone and Russell. Should have been a sequel to this one!

4 - Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! - Ha! Just kidding! Wanted to see if you were paying attention!

4 (the real one!) - The Specialist - How can you go wrong with Sharon Stone sharing the screen with Stallone in a revenge story set in Miami? Stallone plays an explosives expert who must save Stone from the likes of Rod Steiger, James Woods and Eric Roberts! Stallone put into the script that he must be the one on top in the shower scene between him and Stone!

3 - Cobra - One of my all time faves! Scared the crap outta me when i was younger! Sly is a city cop who is trying to protect Brigitte Nielson from a serial killer. Creepy Brian Thompson plays the Night Slasher who is out to kill Nielson for witnessing one of his gangs crimes! Sly is at his best here dishing out one liners and kicking ass! A must see!

2 - Cliffhanger - Sly takes to the mountains to save his best friend and the girl he loves. A brilliant John Lithgow portrays the villain who will stop at nothing to attain the suitcases of money trapped high in the mountains. Renny Harlin directs the non stop roller coaster of thrills spills and the F word! Sly finds the magical sweater in an abandoned cabin and miraculously avoids frostbite the rest of the movie! Co-starring Magic Man Dan Maerjle of the Phoenix Suns and Janine Turner. When i saw it on the big screen i couldn't believe that Sly dropped the girl in the beginning of the movie! I thought, "Since when does Rocky fail?" Also made me afraid of heights so watch it on a 52 inch or larger screen!

Drum roll please for the number one Sly action flick........and the Winner is.....

1 - Demolition Man - Send a maniac to catch a maniac! Sly stars as John Spartan who is wrongfully cybernetically frozen in 1996 only to be unfrozen in the future to catch Wesley Snipes' Simon Phoenix! Sandra Bullock is Sly's rookie partner and Denis Leary pops up as Sly's underground informant. Rob Schneider is the funny man again as Sly has to pull out all the stops in order to stop Phoenix from destroying San Angelas!

So get out there and make it a Sly marathon and go see The Expendables on August 13th!

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